DUNGEON MASTER: "You're in a room. There is a door. The room is moist."
ME: "I want to open the door."
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "You can't open the door. You're an elf and your elven saving throw versus door opening failed." (Rolls dice) "Also, you took 2 damage points."
ME: "Wait, damage from what? Nevermind, I want to throw my flask of flaming oil and burn down the door."
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "You throw it but miss the door because you're an elf and you can't throw." (Rolls dice) "The oil burns you for 18 damage."
ME: "Fine, I want to cast a 'Open Door' spell."
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "You screw up the spell and instead end up casting 'Open Sore.' The dwarf behind you suddenly shouts while dwarf goo drips out of his STD." (Rolls dice) "You take 9 damage points."
ME: "Huh? From what? Okay, whatever, I want to give the dwarf all my gold in exchange for him opening the door."
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "He accepts your proposal and opens the door for you."
ME: "Great, finally I didn't get hurt by-"
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "You get hit in the face by the door for 12 damage points."
ME: "Goddammit."
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "Inside the room is a set of chainlinked iron coif shell plate scale power armor."
ME: "I want to wear the armor!"
DUNGEON MASTER: "You can't because you're an elf and the only things elves can wear are those sissy green folded hats and a light cotton blend shirt that attracts enemy projectiles."
ME: "Wait, you never told me that-"
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "You suffer 21 damage points of sheer embarrassment for failing to put on the armor in front of the dwarf. You have died."
ME: "Hold on a [...] second here-"
DUNGEON MASTER: (Rolls dice) "Your corpse takes 15 damage points."
[edited for profanity 
]
[This message has been edited by Taernath (edited 12-13-2001).] reg
