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Virginity

07:06 PMJust curious. Who out there is a virgin? And if you are a virgin, when do you plan to lose your virginity (if ever)? If you aren't a virgin, where did you lose your virginity and did you remain with the person who you lost it to? Do you regret losing your virginity, or do you feel that it was the right time?

This thread is inspired by my "Sex in GemStone" thread in the role-playing catagory.

As for me, I am a virgin. So is my girlfriend. We plan to remain virgins until marriage.

- The Klaive

[NOTE: Due to the sensitive nature of this topic, viewer disgression is advised.] reg

07:33 PMNot a virgin, glad I'm not a virgin. Frankly I think its wasted years to wait till marriage, but I do respect people that choose to go that route.

Mike

Zanagan/Zarosa reg

07:52 PMI'm not, although I wish I had waited, my first time was purely physical and not very special. I would love to have been able to give mine to a certain somebody, you know who you are.

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I got no dukes. reg

04:04 AMI know mike isnt, ::hears odd sounds from 2 rooms down:: I wont mention names.

I'm not, thats fo sheezy.

-John

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-bReAkZ nATiOnZ-
- breakznation@aol.com
- AIM: highlord42o reg

04:06 AMOh, my first time was with this random girl, on my friends bed when he was out of town, i didnt talk to the girl after that i dont think, i hated the chick, i just felt like haveing sex.

-John

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-bReAkZ nATiOnZ-
- breakznation@aol.com
- AIM: highlord42o reg

06:42 AMI'm married (nuff said on that part of the topic).

My thoughts on virginity in general:

I don't think there's any "right" time to lose it, and further I don't consider it being "lost." That's such a horrible value to attach to such a beautiful natural expression of love.

I also think that if a couple is planning on bonding (through marriage or living together or any of the various non-christian religious rituals), they should be required to explore each other sexually before marriage.

I mean, what happens if you "save" it til after the wedding, and find out that the two of you are *totally* incompatible? It's too late! You're already betrothed or bonded or whatever!

What happens if the guy is so umm..okay let's get slightly graphic here ::cough:: What happens if he's so big that it hurts every time? You gonna wanna live the rest of your life with physical pain, or abstain forever? Or what happens if he's so small or you're too loose or whatever, that it just can't ummm stay there for the job to be done successfully!!??

I think all that should be determined BEFORE you say "I do." That way you know what you're getting before you're stuck with it.

I don't think it's the only criteria for marriage - far from it! Love is #1 priority obviously. Compatibility in tastes, in goals, in intelligence...doesn't mean you both have to have the same IQ or love the same football team. But they should compliment each other with their differences. But sex - well that's a pretty important part of a marriage, even if it's further down on the top 10 list than other things. If you find out you can't stand having sex with your partner, once you're married, it's too late to back out. And you'll have to "not stand it" for the rest of your life. That's a LONG time.

R
reg

12:43 PMI have to kind of disagree with you, Desharei, on the timing of losing your virginity--Sex, as fun as it may be, as much as an "expression of love" it can be viewed as, also comes with a lot of responsibility, and just looking at my circle of friends, most in my opinion should have waited until they could understand a little more just what exactly they were doing when they had sex. Some got pregnant way too young, others caught diseases, some used it as a way of blackmail (i.e taping it and passing the cassette around the cafeteria at lunchtime.) etc, etc.

Seeing those things happen to them prompted me to wait a while until I decided to have sex--and although I caught a lot of crap for it (got dumped left and right, called a prude, blah blah) I don't regret it at all. I was old enough to understand what I was doing, the risks involved, and able to protect myself better. reg

04:29 PM<<<Not a virgin, glad I'm not a virgin. Frankly I think its wasted years to wait till marriage, but I do respect people that choose to go that route.>>>

Couldn't have said it any better myself, brother. As for me, my situation was rather like Fralcon's. I don't even know why I did it. Freakin 14 (week till my 15th birthday), I walked to this girl's house I had been talkin to, spent some time with her, and she jumped my bones. Was nothing special...

actually the most special thing about it was the car-ride home in the policecar for violation of curfew (I was walking home at 4 in the morning in the ghetto of Chatt... rofl)

I still talk to the girl, we're friends. Ironic.


rht reg

04:44 PMI'm not.

I was one of those girls that waited until I graduated high school, and my first time was with my best friend at the time. We don't talk anymore, unfortunately, but only because our lives took us in different directions. The sex didn't change our relationship.. our careers did.

I think kids are having sex way too early these days. Perhaps it's because they are taught about it so early in life as well, I'm not sure. You would think that if they know early what is to be expected, they wouldn't dive into unprotected sex or one-night stands, but that's how experimenting goes.

I'm with Desharai as far as having sex before getting married. Better to be safe than sorry to know that you are compatible in that aspect as well. You really don't want to get that involved with someone to only find that they don't do it for, per say. Sex views can be changed though. You need to talk with your partner and come to an understanding. If you find that you still don't see eye to eye, then you'll have problems, which is why I say sex before marriage is good, if not a healthy beginning to a stronger relationship.

I respect the concept of virginity until marriage. It's just so rare an idea lately I'm surprised when I hear it. reg

07:05 PMI can respect someone who wants to wait until marriage but I don't think it's a good idea overall. Like Desharei said, complications can arise if you wait until after the wedding to find out.

I don't see a problem with sexual exploration. There is no right time to get rid of it, but just be sure you're ready and have the maturity to handle the responsibilities that come with it. "Once you have sex, it opens the door for more sex." seems like a fitting quote I heard from somewhere.

The problem with many kids these days is that they're pressured into having it whether by their girlfriend/boyfriend or peers. It's the 'cool' thing to do for them. But you just gotta sorta remember to think for yourself and not have other people do it for you.

Bianca, the prude reg

07:06 PMAll the risks of having sex when you're young still apply when you get older. The risks don't change just because you turned 18, or 21, or 40. Maturity doesn't change at some magic number either. There are people who should NEVER have sex, at any age, because they just don't have what it takes to handle it.

I also think the assorted state and federal laws regarding age should apply, but that's not for moral purposes, it's just to keep one, if not both people out of jail.

You can't expect kids not to have sex just because an adult told them not to. That's not how it works, and anyone who believes otherwise should probably not have kids. That doesn't mean children having sex is a good thing, or that I condone it. I just don't believe that anyone's opinion on the subject will change the minds of kids who are hellbent on exploring their sexuality.

Some kids take the responsibility seriously and know that they aren't mature enough to handle it, and wait until they feel more confident about themselves. Some adults don't take the responsibility seriously and end up dead with diseases, or any number of other horrifying situations that could crop up.

In summary, I repeat my previous post and stand by it: there is no "right" age/time to "lose" one's virginity. What is right for one person isn't right for another.

R
reg

07:12 PM"Once you have sex, it opens the door for more sex."


While I guess that might be generally true, there are definitely exceptions... my first time having sex, the girl told me she was pregant (that's with both a condom and "pulling out"). I was so scared, I didn't have sex again for another 6 months. I didn't care how drunk we was or how high, I abstained. Then the second time I had sex... guess what... the girl said she was pregnant again (with a condom again)...

Bottom line... some girls just wanna keep you no matter the price. And after these two occurences and being in love then being dumped... I'll never trust another woman.

rht

PS: No, neither girl was really pregnant. reg

07:50 PMHmm--I think what I was trying to say was either a little misconstrued, or I wasn't clear enough, because I certainly wasn't implying that there is a particular AGE a person should be before they become sexually active, (I wasn't exactly 18 myself) just a certain level of maturity and understanding. While it's true that words, morals and opinions won't stop people from having sex, it still doesn't mean it's okay to pull down your pants/lift your skirt and go for the gold just because you're horny/curious and have no clue what you're dealing with, whether you are 15 or 25 years of age. You need to be aware of the risks involved. That's what I meant by "a right time to have sex." Not necessarily the age. But that's just my opinion.

As far as sex before marriage--I too can and do respect anyone who is waiting until they are married. I guess because of how I was raised, ideally I would have liked it if I could have waited until I was married--but I didn't and I can't say I regret it. I feel I was mature enough for that experience. My only regret was the undeserving @!$#*&%!#$&* #!@$%*&%@$ I gave the grand honor to when I did, but oh well.

[This message has been edited by Weedmage Princess (edited 12-16-2001).] reg

04:38 PMI lost my virginity at sixteen. Probably two in the morning the night before my brother's wedding. It lasted about three nervous minutes. Then it was over. Nothing special. I did love the chick. We stayed together a good long while and had a lot more sex. The first time is just the 'gateway drug' if you will. Nothing special. It just leads to getting better at it and doing it in mass quantities. Luckily I hit my sexual peak at about seventeen and a half, and no longer find any real interest in sex besides perhaps the emotional part and exploring my own deviant nature. So, who else is into anal? reg