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Home > Relationships in Gemstone > Don't do it!

Don't do it!

08:11 PMBy the gods people, I pray you step back and watch where you go with relationships... many people get attached in RL, and while this is not always detrimental, it mostly is to at least one member of the duo. Take it from one who knows, and one who now walks alone.

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Caels Onae'Rae
AIM : Caels OnaeRae
MSN : Caels_Onaerae@hotmail.com
ICQ : 91446467
Yahoo!: caels_onaerae reg

04:55 PMAmen on that Caels.

I've heard several stories of people trying to "hook-up" through GS. Actually there's one woman that I know that's dated 2 people in GS. And her character was with both of them in the game as well.

And well...if I said her name...

Gosh...

I'll hush. reg

05:16 PMI've heard so many horror stories on this issue... aren't there ANY good ones out there?

I have one friend that is living with another player, and he said that it hurts him how his girlfriend acts with other males in-game. I asked him if he talked to her about his feelings, and he said he was embarrassed to admit he felt threatened by a fantasy game.

It comes back to the point of Not The Only One's letter, foolish or not, real feelings get hurt from actions here.

Summer

[This message has been edited by Summerlyn (edited 08-29-2001).] reg

05:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Summerlyn:
I've heard so many horror stories on this issue... aren't there ANY good ones out there?

I have one friend that is living with another player, and he said that it hurts him how his girlfriend acts with other males in-game. I asked him if he talked to her about his feelings, and he said he was embarrassed to admit he felt threatened by a fantasy game.

It comes back to the point of Not The Only One's letter, foolish or not, real feelings get hurt from actions here.

Summer

[This message has been edited by Summerlyn (edited 08-29-2001).]

I think it's a tough thing on the whole.

Even with one spouse playing and one not. Does the spouse get jealous about the person that's playin GS whenever they're with a person in-game and it's serious? It's a tough one. reg

08:27 PMI know several people that have had many problems with RL relationships because of in-game relationships. I know a couple who were not a couple in GS but got divorced in RL over stupid things involving their relationships to others in the game. That line between fanatsy and reality didn't just thin in that case... I simply vanished and everything blurred together for that unlucky couple. On the other hand, I do know of one, just one couple that met in GS and are together now happily in RL and can actually manage separate identities and love lives within the game. I have to admit they are both very strange people when it comes to love in RL, but at least they can manage to keep things distinguished. My perspective? If you do choose to play multi-lover in GS don't let them know about your other characters and especially not about the next girl/guy. And if you have a partner who plays GS also, I say that the two definately need to work out some guidelines or an agreement before they start spreading the love. For those who do not play, but they grow jealous over their spouse's/loved one's characters in game, I do not really blame them, but I suggest that they learn to deal with it... at least until the mysterious phone calls from some guy named Aethron or some girl named Perinella (those are named I tried to pluck from my head, not intended to represent anyone) wake you up in the middle of the night asking to talk to your hubby's character. I am sure this has happened many times.

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Caels Onae'Rae
AIM : Caels OnaeRae
MSN : Caels_Onaerae@hotmail.com
ICQ : 91446467
Yahoo!: caels_onaerae reg

11:29 AMThe "bad" relationship stories probably overwhelm the successful ones... but it's that way in real life too.

I know several couples who met in GemStone or at a GemStone gather who are happy together and have been for a long time. I know plenty of others who got involved and it didn't work out. And then there are a few horror stories about stalkers and crazy people, but those are far from the norm.

I've only been involved in a few in-game relationships with my characters and the one that has worked out the best is the one where my in game SO's player is one of my good friends in real life. We aren't romantically involved in real life, just friends. His other character is involved with someone else and for the most part I'm fine with it. I don't really like hearing all the details, but it doesn't bother me.

NOI reg

02:57 PMI have to agree that relationships in GS do destroy RL relationships, and I personally think it's unfortunate. I've seen this myself several times, and the biggest problem is that in ANY real life relationship, there are going to be more problems than in a GS relationship for many reasons.

People who are in a difficult marriage who have a relationship in GS and are well "addicted" to GS will most likely avoid the problems that plague their RL relationship because they don't need to face it. They can simply run to their GS relationship. GS in this sense is an escape from RL problems, and I am pretty confident when I state that MANY people play GS as an escape from the real world.

I know real life people who have lost many real friends because they had GS and their GS friends to go to if ever they had a problem in real life with their friends. Same with relationships.

Bottom line though is... in GS it's a lot easier to have friends and have a relationship, there's no need to make a serious commitment, cause hell all you're doing is typing in letters to bring life to your relationships, which is far from challenging. But I do certainly hope that NO ONE jeopardizes their real life friends or real life relationships (or even a potential relationship) for one in GS.

It's not just GS either, internet relationships are like this as well (according to psychologists who also state that 97 percent of people who have an internet relationship break up after meeting in RL). So easy to get into, so easy to keep, so easy to fill in the blanks to make that other person seem so wonderful that you whatever RL relationship you may have had isn't worth going for. The second that RL factors come into play, the relationship can quickly crumble apart.

Well, that's just my opinion based on some research I did and my own experience with this issue.

Never EVER jeopardize a real life ANYTHING for an ingame SOMETHING.

- Lord Kranar, human Archwizard reg

03:41 PMWonderful words from a Wise Wizard!

or

Wise words from a Wonderful Wizard...

(Betcha' can't say that five times, fast!)

Summer reg

04:10 PMI believe if you keep it in the game and not mention any RL issues. Such as your name, marital status, age, etc. you can have a significant relationship in GS. I have a relationship in GS where I do not even know the other persons RL name or anything about their RL at all and likewise they know nothing about me. I think if you keep it in character you can successfully maintain a healthy relationship in GS reg
05:21 PMMy husband and I met in the Landing 6 years ago and have been married IRL for 5 years now. So sometimes it all works out. reg
12:05 AMA relationship in Gemstone takes work just like any other relationship. You have to be willing to commit to each other and have good communication.

Gemstone relationships, in game and out, can work.

My character is in love with someone in Gemstone.

I met my true love in Gemstone.

They are not the same person. They do know about each other, and the in game, stays in game.

It's actually a lot of fun to have my other half playing Gemstone. And it helps to have someone who understands what RPGing is all about. Specially when a special event or merchant comes around...

Aerienne


reg

08:16 AMI hear dat!


Buckwheet reg