The Players Corner Archive

If a Lord says...."Hon, why don't you stay in the house until the invaders have left the area and it's safe for you <as he smiles brightly>."
He really means...." For the love of Charl, I'm sick and tired of having to run out and drag your dead corpse all over town, you can't fight, you can't defend, so STAY in the house with the door locked and don't move a muscle!"

If a Lord asks...."You spent how much for that altered bodice?!"
He really means...."Are you completely insane? I could have brought Forest Green Brig, a 6x blessable waraxe, and some damn fine ale for what you spent on that silly vest thing!"

If a Lord asks... "Dear, what are your plans tonight?"
He really means..."Hey, Toots, you're on your own tonight, I'm going hunting with the boys and we want to be able to scratch, spit, and swear, without you turning up your nose!"

If a Lord says..."Your friend is sure lively."
He really means... "Does she EVER shut up?!"

And when speaking to each other (Lord to Lord), they have this amazing shorthand style that they seem to just naturally understand.

Lord to friend Lord..."Bathhouse, skins".
Translation ~ "I collected those skins that you needed. Meet me in the Bathhouse and we can unload."

Lord to friend Lord..."She's down".
Translation ~ "Hmm, Bubba, in case you missed it, the Old Lady just bit the dust again, you might want to run out and check on her."

Lord to friend Lord..."Gate in five".
Translation ~ "Okay, we'll meet at the gate in five minutes. These critters are rich, so unload and pack light. They swing hard so get as much magic as you can".

Part II coming soon...

Summer

[This message has been edited by Summerlyn (edited 02-11-2002).] reg

I'll be looking forward to Part II.

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-Emtel Draghan, Sylvankind Rogue reg

I'm gonna cry... I miss the lands.

But that was definately fun to read, Summer. Lemme know if you need some help with Part II. reg

Tha Dwarf...

Kodokai reg

Lord Deprav
"Bar now"
Translated-The old lady won't leave me alone and I need some death ale to put myself out of misery for a few hours. reg

Emislity reg

Okay, okay in all fairness I have to admit that MAYBE what Ladies say isn't always exactly what they mean!

If a Lady asks "Don't you know what day this is?"
She really means..."You Insensitive Clod of Rolton Droppings, how could you forget that it was exactly one year ago today that you first asked me to hunt? I was wearing that lovely sapphire-blue outfit with the matching ribbon in my hair and my new velvet slippers..."

If a Lady asks "Is she your friend?"
She really means..."I've been standing here like a statue for at least an hour while you chatted with that honey, and even the Blind Ferryman can see that she's just some hussy that should be slinging drinks in Helga's ... hrmph!"

If a Lady asks "Is that what you're wearing tonight?"
She really means... "Run, don't walk to your locker and change into something decent! All my friends will be at this event and don't even think you're going to escort me looking like some hunt-crazed Ranger. Get out of that breastplate, lose the doeskin trousers, and put on that lovely Onyx-buttoned shirt and those crisp linen pants that I purchased for you!"

If a Lady begins her story with, "Now, don't get mad, but..."
It's NEVER, ever going to be good news, or something a Lord will want to hear. The news could cover a wide range of possible disasters. I know one lady that started off with that comment and followed it with the news that evil forces from the Dye Tent had pulled her inside and caused her to dye the God-auctioned waraxe that her husband loaned her a lovely shade of seashell-pink. Only upon showing the results to her friends did she realize that maybe her husband wouldn't be thrilled with the color change on one of his favorite weapons.

"Don't get mad, but..." could also mean... "Holy Moly, I've done it now! I really wasn't planning on telling you, but your best friend happened to be on the selling net and heard what I bid for this custom gown, and I know he will be flapping his jaws as soon as he possibly can. I'm hoping that if I tell you first and bat my eyes a tad, maybe it won't sound as bad!"

When speaking to each other, Ladies also have a unique language that is only understood among themselves.

Lady to her Lady friend, "He asked me to go hunting with him two nights in a row!"
They both know that she really means, "I think this is the one! I'm thinking a fall wedding, gold and emerald-green as my colors. I'll need at least four attendants, and let's see, if we get a total of 18 items for the wedding, that will be five gowns, matching shoes, flowers...."

If a lady gasps "Sukara" to her lady friend..
They both know this means the famous designer is somewhere in the vicinity! All activity must come to a complete and immediate halt until Sukara's wagon has been located!

If a lady asks "Did you see that pearl-trimmed black silk gown in the merchant's tent?"
Her friend knows that this means,"If you didn't see the pearl-trimmed black silk gown in the merchant's tent, no worries, I bought two! But make sure that we coordinate our outfits for the next dance so we both don't show up in the same gown <shudders>!"

Summer

[This message has been edited by Summerlyn (edited 04-12-2002).] reg